..this little picture is the best explanation of how my head and heart feel today. There was a glitch in the flow of the ortho office today. So much is changing and we fell victim to the inevitable realization that change brings moments of unrest and uncertainty. Just when you seem to have it "down just right", that little something happens to throw the wrench into the works and remind you that you DON'T know everything you need to. You are reminded that you are NOT always comfortable with doing things differently no matter how many times you say out loud that "this change is easy to deal with, its all just fine..." The thing that gets me tonight is that I feel I missed it. I left thinking "that wasn't so bad", and yet it was because it did not go RIGHT. I left frustrated because I want to do such a great, outstanding job at what I do and that just did not happen tonight. Then to come home to a house of chaos -- two extra labbies, kids in transition, the house a mess, and a little time to think of all that needs to be done and how little time I have to get it finished. I'm the proverbial deer in the headlights. NO motivation to start because I am overwhelmed at all the necessary things and even more so by all the desires...hope the feeling passes soon, because even though in the great scheme of all things, every bit of it is really very insignificant, it is taxing every bit of my being this evening...
...so, I FINALLY get a chance to lunch with a couple of good friends this week. It used to be that I had a fairly open schedule that would accomodate this little luxury a bit more often, but that is part of the "changing tide" these days.
We agreed to meet in Bayside at a place called Maxfield's Pancake House. Misnomer. Its definitly pancakes and MORE! After much deliberation and paging throught the menu, we had lunch ordered and chatted away. Now I have to say that these two ladies have been a very positive influence on my world recently. From getting my bum off the couch and out walking or checking in on exercise in general...they get my creative juices flowing just being around them.
One of the ladies asked the other two of us to take notice of a fine arts/crafts gallery next door. She had to run, but she insisted we go in. We peeked in the window and it looked just too luscious to pass by, so in we went. Surronded by beautiful hand made things, mostly jewlery, accessories and tchotchke, all of it faboo! We finally went to leave, drooling a bit when the proprietor noticed my friends bag, stopped her, asked her where she got it -- she points at me -- owner asks where I got it -- I tell her I made it -- she shakes my hand, slips me a business card and says call me if I would ever want to sell any others that I have made...
I left rather surprised, really. I'm giving it some thought...perhaps I will make a few small bags and see what happens....
...honestly, european knitting patterns can be so frustrating when you are used to the format and wording of american knitting patterns. While every detail and every stitch are right there in black and white, there is no "hand-holding". Its usually all pictures, which is GREAT for a backwards knitter like me, but in the case of the sweater I have just started I am encountering a "word" explanation of the set up row just does not seem to match up with the "picture" explanation of the cable pattern. I am wracking my brain trying to figure it out. Looking at the photos of the finished sweater, it really seems obvious how it should set up, and yet my eyes do not see it. I know I will be a smarter knitter when the light bulb turns on, but until I reach that point, I could just scream, cry, rip my hair out, kick something...but of course that will not solve my problem. Why the rant? Well, I've been pushing around the idea of writing up patterns for some of the designs in my sketchbook...swatching, developing and putting to paper the imaginings I've recorded in it. The frustrations I am finding with the format of this euro-pattern cannot be repeated in what I put together. It is showing me aspects of conveying details needed to repeat the design and how it should, or should not be done. I need to use the information I glean from attacking this fabulous pattern to make my pattern, readable, and thus doable.
Nothing like a good snow day to spark creativity and motivation. The Midwest states got seriously hit with a good bit of snow. Then came winds to whip it around creating drifts like we have not seen in over ten years. The national weather service certainly called this one and we were physically and mentally prepared for the "lock-in". It literally took over 4 hours to clear the drive and dig out the cars. In that amount of mindless, monotonous, physical labor, one really has time to think, and think I did.
I have been wanting to get some of my knitting ideas from the sketch book stage to "knitable patterns on paper" stage. It just seemed that if I could be out there with my kids tackling (and overcoming) the piles of snow that had to be moved, I could certainly start to take action on getting these designs to paper...as workable patterns. The next logical steps may be to find a way to publish them, be it e-published or old-fashioned book or magazine published, it would be a dream to have someone else in the knitting world see them as valuable to others in that same creative world.
I think my first one will be the Oktoberfest jacket I made from my friends son -- he was less than a year old when I made it for him. A small, simple pattern with a few special details, it should be a bit easier to translate to a written pattern.
Part of my problem though, is the fabulous idea seldom makes it to reality. You know, all talk-no action, this is my past pattern. Usually it is because I run into a bump in the road that makes it hard to proceed. When the way becomes difficult, I tend to bog down and get no where. Perhaps now is the time to put to rest that bad habit and develop a new one...My old way was to just sit and wait for my hubby or a neighbor to take care of the difficult task of clearing the way from all the snow...This year, this snow storm in particular I felt empowered by being out there with the kiddos and getting the job done. Perhaps this is the year I put old, bad habits to rest and take on new challenges?