...eight years is just too long

...but when it is a true friend, there is not a hint of guilt, just happiness when the reunion occurs!  It is a true friend who you can sit and talk with for hours about all the good things happening in each others lives and not compete for who is better off.  It is a true friend who can help you sort out the mistakes you made and come up with ideas on how to overcome your weaknesses.  It is a true friend who can help you discover your strengths and suggest ways to develop them.  It is a true friend who asks questions in genuine interest and does not interrogate.  What a beautiful gift it is to have a true friend!  ...you know who you are...

...times have changed, life has changed

...so when did I go from a person who had great ideas and plans to one who puts those ideas and plans into action?

I spent my years until 40 living life...well maybe not living...thinking I was not good enough to accomplish some of the things I really wanted to do.

Recently, I have been a bit introspective about those years.  Now mind you, they were not bad years by any means!  I had everything I could have ever needed and more than most.  Strong faith, loving parents, fun friends...activities abounded, I tried it all...or at least anything that presented itself.  I did not always go out of the box to search for things.  I took what life gave me and reacted to it. 

Things seem different now.  I tend to look for what could be done, seek it out and take the risk to try it.  I dont always succeed, but that does not stop me from trying like it did in my first 40 years.

Its not easy to make this change -- sometimes I revert back to "old ways" because of a bit of self doubt.

...but sometimes all it takes is a good friend to get you back on track...

...interesting turn of events

...so this may be my future...

...ever have one of those days?

..this little picture is the best explanation of how my head and heart feel today.  There was a glitch in the flow of the ortho office today.  So much is changing and we fell victim to the inevitable realization that change brings moments of unrest and uncertainty.  Just when you seem to have it "down just right", that little something happens to throw the wrench into the works and remind you that you DON'T know everything you need to.  You are reminded that you are NOT always comfortable with doing things differently no matter how many times you say out loud that "this change is easy to deal with, its all just fine..."  The thing that gets me tonight is that I feel I missed it.  I left thinking "that wasn't so bad", and yet it was because it did not go RIGHT.  I left frustrated because I want to do such a great, outstanding job at what I do and that just did not happen tonight.  Then to come home to a house of chaos -- two extra labbies, kids in transition, the house a mess, and a little time to think of all that needs to be done and how little time I have to get it finished.  I'm the proverbial deer in the headlights.  NO motivation to start because I am overwhelmed at all the necessary things and even more so by all the desires...hope the feeling passes soon, because even though in the great scheme of all things, every bit of it is really very insignificant, it is taxing every bit of my being this evening...

...a funny thing happened on the way home from lunch...

...so, I FINALLY get a chance to lunch with a couple of good friends this week.  It used to be that I had a fairly open schedule that would accomodate this little luxury a bit more often, but that is part of the "changing tide" these days.

  We agreed to meet in Bayside at a place called Maxfield's Pancake House.  Misnomer.  Its definitly pancakes and MORE!  After much deliberation and paging throught the menu, we had lunch ordered and chatted away.  Now I have to say that these two ladies have been a very positive influence on my world recently.  From getting my bum off the couch and out walking or checking in on exercise in general...they get my creative juices flowing just being around them.

  One of the ladies asked the other two of us to take notice of a fine arts/crafts gallery next door.  She had to run, but she insisted we go in.  We peeked in the window and it looked just too luscious to pass by, so in we went.  Surronded by beautiful hand made things, mostly jewlery, accessories and tchotchke, all of it faboo!  We finally went to leave, drooling a bit when the proprietor noticed my friends bag, stopped her, asked her where she got it -- she points at me -- owner asks where I got it -- I tell her I made it  -- she shakes my hand, slips me a business card and says call me if I would ever want to sell any others that I have made...

  I left rather surprised, really.  I'm giving it some thought...perhaps I will make a few small bags and see what happens....

...need I say more?

GO PACK GO!!!

...for future reference

 ...honestly, european knitting patterns can be so frustrating when you are used to the format and wording of american knitting patterns.  While every detail and every stitch are right there in black and white, there is no "hand-holding".  Its usually all pictures, which is GREAT for a backwards knitter like me, but in the case of the sweater I have just started I am encountering a "word" explanation of the set up row just does not seem to match up with the "picture" explanation of the cable pattern.  I am wracking my brain trying to figure it out.  Looking at the photos of the finished sweater, it really seems obvious how it should set up, and yet my eyes do not see it.  I know I will be a smarter knitter when the light bulb turns on, but until I reach that point, I could just scream, cry, rip my hair out, kick something...but of course that will not solve my problem.  Why the rant?  Well, I've been pushing around the idea of writing up patterns for some of the designs in my sketchbook...swatching, developing and putting to paper the imaginings I've recorded in it.  The frustrations I am finding with the format of this euro-pattern cannot be repeated in what I put together.  It is showing me aspects of conveying details needed to repeat the design and how it should, or should not be done.  I need to use the information I glean from attacking this fabulous pattern to make my pattern, readable, and thus doable.